Approaching your teen about their substance use may not be easy, but it’s crucial to do so promptly and appropriately before it escalates and further adverse consequences occur. Moreover, this issue should be addressed with openness, empathy, and understanding, not judgment, shame, and anger. Your child needs to feel free to express their feelings, and it’s important to listen without prejudice while offering love, support, and resources for help.
At Guardian Recovery, our adolescent programs are designed to address the unique factors associated with teen substance misuse, including behavioral health issues, developmental changes, emotional and mental health concerns, peer pressure, and a desire for experimentation. In doing so, we ensure our interventions align closely with this vulnerable population and that treatment can help them effectively forge a path toward positive growth and self-discovery.
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Choosing the Right Time & Place for the Conversation
When discussing sensitive topics such as substance use with your teen, choosing an appropriate time and place is paramount for facilitating an open and productive conversation. Ensure the location is private and both of you can speak freely without disturbances. Your teen will need a safe, comfortable space to express themselves and for you to offer support and guidance.
Keep in mind that your teen may be reluctant to engage in a planned sit-down meeting. A more casual, spontaneous conversation may prove more fruitful under certain conditions. For example, they should not be impaired by any substance they’ve been using or under time constraints due to responsibilities. Neither of you should be feeling anxious, angry, or on the verge of an argument.
One idea is to take a walk or go to a park or other peaceful, neutral location without many distractions. This can help your teen feel less confined than in a small space like a room and can help them open up and feel less cornered or defensive.
The Partnership to End Addiction suggests the following: “Look for blocks of time to talk. After dinner, before bed, before school, or on the way to or from school and extracurricular activities can work well. Take a walk or go for a drive together. With less eye contact, your teen won’t feel like they are under a microscope.”1
Educating Without Lecturing
Lecturing your teen can cause them to shut down, become agitated, and distance themselves emotionally. They may perceive language with negative connotations, such as disapproval or shaming, as scare tactics or threats. Conversely, engaging them calmly and respectfully and taking their feelings into consideration will likely be more effective and help facilitate healthy communication in future conversations.
Drug Free Kids Canada recommends putting yourself in your teen’s shoes. When tackling a difficult subject, consider how you would prefer to be addressed, and try to think back to how it felt when you were a teenager.2
Education can consist of having open discussions about the nature, causes, and effects of substance misuse. Prepare in advance by educating yourself and having resources and information available to support your claims. Whether you decide to begin with one long conversation or pursue a series of smaller ones, help your teen understand the risks associated with alcohol use and the types of drugs available, how they work, and the risks and dangers associated with them.
Also research potential options for professional treatment and assure your teen that help is available. Above all, they should feel comfortable asking questions and seeking guidance from you.
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Addressing Peer Pressure & Social Influences
It is easy to underestimate the impact of peer pressure and social influences on your teen’s decision-making. By discussing this topic openly and offering guidance on navigating challenging situations, you can empower them to make better choices that correspond with their values and goals. Communicate to them that they have the ability to stand up for themselves and doing so can help them make healthy choices that are in their best interest. Also, emphasizing the importance of surrounding themselves with positive influences can help them resist negative peer pressure and the temptation to use substances.
Discussing the Impact of Substance Use on Future Goals
Educating your teen about the potential consequences of substance use on their aspirations can help them understand the future effects of the choices they are making now. Encourage them to consider how their decisions today can adversely affect their goals for the future and suggest they write down their thoughts to address in further discussions. This can help them understand there are no advantages to substance misuse and that both short- and long-term outcomes can be devastating.
According to UAB Medicine, some of the most serious long-term consequences of adolescent drug and alcohol use include:3
- Poor academic performance
- Psychosocial problems (forming relationships with others, having a healthy self-concept)
- Neurocognitive deficits (trouble remembering, interacting with others)
- Increased likelihood of developing a substance use disorder
Other potential negative outcomes include mental and physical health conditions, legal problems, financial issues, and difficulty starting or maintaining a career.
Setting Clear Expectations & Boundaries Together
Communicating your expectations and setting boundaries can provide your teen with healthy structure and accountability. This requires careful forethought to ensure your requests are fair and communicated with gentle authority and not dictatorship. It’s also important to foster a sense of mutual respect and to remain open to their feedback, questions, and concerns. In doing so, you can ensure they understand what is reasonably expected of them and what may happen if their behavior veers from these expectations.
The Partnership to End Addiction puts it this way: “The tricky part is finding a balance between your need for control and your teen’s need for independence.”4
Building Trust Over Time
Building trust with your teen takes time and consistency. You will need to show them that you are reliable in following through with your promises and that you will be there for them when they need your love and support. This includes ensuring that they know you are listening to and validating their feelings while you are communicating. It’s vital to lead by example to help them become trustworthy themselves and to ensure your relationship is solidly built on a foundation of trust that will foster healthy interactions in the long run.
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Getting Your Teen Assistance With Addiction Treatment
Openly and honestly talking to your teen about substance use is just the first step in the recovery process, and seeking professional help as early as possible is highly encouraged. Our caring staff at Guardian Recovery are dedicated to addressing the needs of adolescents aged 13–17 wherever they are on their journey. Our integrated approach focuses on each individual and combines evidence-based clinical treatments with experiential therapies with academic support. When substance use is suspected or occurs, underlying issues are driving the behavior. As such, we provide holistic care for mental, emotional, and behavioral needs.
Our commitment is to ensure that every young person entrusted to our care is given the tools they need to heal and thrive in all aspects of their lives. We encourage you to reach out to us today for a free, no-obligation call to learn more about our evidence-based behavioral treatment programs for teens. Transformation is possible, and we can help.
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Disclaimer: Does not guarantee specific treatment outcomes, as individual results may vary. Our services are not a substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis; please consult a qualified healthcare provider for such matters.
- Partnership to End Addiction. (2024). Connecting With Your Teen to Prevent Drug Use.
- Drug Free Kids Canada. (2024). Prepare Yourself to Talk Effectively.
- UAB Medicine. (2024). The Effects of Drugs on Adolescent Brains.
- Partnership to End Addiction. (2024). Setting Limits and Monitoring Behavior to Prevent Substance Use.
