When your teen withdraws from family and friends for no easily discernible reason, it’s wise to be concerned. While it’s often perfectly normal for teens to keep more to themselves, and some teens may naturally be more introverted than others, social isolation can also be a sign of an underlying problem.1, 2
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Different Types of Isolation Behaviors in Teens
Adolescence is a time of significant physical, social, psychological, and emotional growth. It can be a normal part of healthy development for teens to distance themselves from others from time to time so they can figure out who they are and what they want out of their lives. Your teen may sometimes want to spend more time alone, feel as though no one understands them, and appear quieter and more introverted than usual. However, this is not the same as true social withdrawal and isolation, which can be a risk factor or symptom of different mental health conditions, and is defined somewhat differently in various sources.2 According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), social isolation means that a person has no relationships or contact with others and little to no social support.3 Another report explains that social isolation is an umbrella term meaning that a person voluntarily self-isolates from familiar and/or unfamiliar others by “consistently displaying solitary behaviors such as shyness, spending excessive time alone, and avoiding peer interaction.”2 It’s therefore not always easy to determine whether your teen’s behavior is typical adolescent behavior or a sign of a more serious problem. Remember, also, that it’s not up to you to diagnose your child. If you observe some of the following signs and behaviors in your child, it can be wise to consult a professional.2- Avoiding school events.
- Not wanting to leave the house.
- A lack of motivation to go to school or work.
- Cutting contact with friends.
- A lack of interest or involvement in activities or hobbies they previously enjoyed.
- Low self-esteem.
- Little or no communication with family members.
- Seeming sad or low most of the time.
Identifying Normal Privacy Needs Versus Concerning Withdrawal
As your teen gets older, they often require more privacy and autonomy, and may not be as open or forthcoming about things as they were as younger children.4 This can sometimes be a shock or feel frustrating to parents who want to maintain the same level of closeness they may have previously enjoyed. While it’s normal for your child to want to keep things more to themselves as they explore new ideas, interests, and feelings, this doesn’t mean that they don’t still need your guidance, monitoring, and support. Social withdrawal that you should be worried about looks different from normal privacy needs, and can potentially be a cry for help or a sign of a more serious underlying issue. If your teen isolates themselves consistently and displays the following warning signs, it’s a good idea to talk to them and consult a qualified mental health professional as soon as possible, or call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.5- Spending all of their time alone in their room.
- Talking about feeling hopeless.
- Increasing anxiety or nervousness.
- Changes in sleep or appetite.
- Extreme anger or rage.
- Displaying odd thoughts or behavior.
- Using drugs or alcohol.
- Appearing depressed.
- Unexplained fatigue or pain.
- Giving away items they value.
- Talking about death or researching ways to kill themselves online.
Possible Causes & Triggers for Teen Withdrawal
Your teen may be withdrawing for a number of reasons, some of which can indicate normal development issues and some of which may be more serious. Some of these reasons include:- Being a victim or perpetrator of bullying.6
- Feeling disconnected from family, school, or social settings.6
- An underlying condition like anxiety or depression.2
- Social or educational problems at school.
- Low mood or self-esteem.
- Psychological, emotional, or physical abuse.
- Adjustment problems, such as moving to a new home or school.
- Too much parental monitoring or hypervigilance.1
- Unrealistic expectations from parents or themselves.1
- Grief or loss of a loved one.3
- Sexual orientation or gender identity concerns.7
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What Could My Child’s Isolation Mean?
As mentioned above, periods of social isolation don’t always indicate a problem, but it could be concerning if it becomes excessive or is accompanied by other problematic signs, like substance use. Social withdrawal is a diagnostic feature of numerous mental health conditions, including:- Anxiety, such as generalized or social anxiety disorders.1
- Depression and/or suicidal ideation.
- Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).8
- Schizophrenia.9
- Substance use disorders.10
Should I Be Worried About My Teen’s Mental Health?
It’s normal to be concerned about your teen’s mental health when they’ve started withdrawing and isolating themselves more than usual. Only qualified professionals can diagnose a psychiatric condition, so you may wish to have a discussion with your child’s pediatrician or a mental health practitioner if you’re worried that your teen may be dealing with a more serious problem or displays any of the warning signs mentioned above. Having an open and honest discussion with your teen is advisable to help determine the causes of their behavior and help them get into treatment, if necessary.Creating Open Communication With Your Teen
While an honest discussion is important, it can also be difficult to get your child to open up, especially if they’ve been pushing you away or isolating. Here are some tips to break the ice and help you establish healthy communication:- Avoid judgment. Criticism and blame are the last things your teen needs to hear if they’re struggling. If you can come from a place of compassion and understanding, they may be more likely to share their feelings with you.
- Don’t assume you know what’s wrong. It’s generally not helpful to say things like “When I was your age” or “I know what it’s like to be a teenager.”
- Avoid minimizing their problems. What your teen is dealing with might seem small to you in the grand scheme of things, but it’s not small to them. Avoid saying things like “You’ll get over it” or “It’s not so bad.”
- Use “I” statements to share your observations. You might start with sentences like “I’ve noticed you’re spending more time in your room” or “I’m concerned that you haven’t been going to sport practice/music rehearsals/afterschool activities lately.”
- Show your love and support. Ask questions instead of making assumptions. Inquire about how they’re feeling and whether there’s anything going on that they’d like to share with you. However, don’t force the issue if they’re not willing to talk right now but rather, return to the topic at a later point.
- Help them feel safe. Teens might feel that sharing things with parents or other adults will only make things worse. Let them know that you’re there to help and talk things through, and aren’t going to tell them what to do.
Developing Trust-Based Approaches
Cultivating a sense of trust is crucial for healthy parent/caretaker-adolescent relationships. Trust can be broken when an adult doesn’t follow through or when they violate a teen’s boundaries or their confidentiality. A few approaches that can help build trust include:- Having a weekly check-in where you set aside time to talk about what’s going on.
- Listening with your full attention, instead of thinking about other tasks or responsibilities.
- Being aware of your own feelings and emotions, and stepping away if you feel like things might get out of hand.
- Being trustworthy by not sharing private details that your teen tells you with other family members.
- Providing a supportive and nurturing environment where your teen feels safe.
- Modeling trust and appropriate behavior by working on your own interpersonal issues, such as when there’s strife within the family or your relationships.
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Seeking Professional Support
Sometimes, it’s necessary to seek professional support, because you can’t, and shouldn’t, have to handle everything on your own. If you’re concerned about your teen and don’t know where to turn, we are here to help. Guardian Recovery focuses on helping teens recover from mental health and behavioral challenges, including substance use and psychiatric disorders.
Please reach out to us for a free assessment and discussion of your teen’s situation and needs. We can help you understand our teen treatment programs, verify your insurance, and help your teen get admitted to rehab. No matter how things might seem right now, there is always hope and the potential for lasting change.
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Disclaimer: Does not guarantee specific treatment outcomes, as individual results may vary. Our services are not a substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis; please consult a qualified healthcare provider for such matters.
- Lin H, Harrist AW, Lansford JE, Pettit GS, Bates JE, Dodge KA. Adolescent social withdrawal, parental psychological control, and parental knowledge across seven years: A developmental cascade model. J Adolesc. 2020;81:124-134. doi:10.1016/j.adolescence.2020.04.007
- Morese R, Palermo S, Torello C, Sechi F. Social withdrawal and mental health: an interdisciplinary approach. In: Social Isolation—An Interdisciplinary View. IntechOpen; 2020. doi: 10.5772/intechopen.90735
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Health Effects of Social Isolation and Loneliness.
- Wisniewski PJ, Vitak J, Hartikainen H. Privacy in adolescence. In: Knijnenburg BP, Page X, Wisniewski P, Lipford HR, Proferes N, Romano J, eds. Modern socio-technical perspectives on privacy. Cham, Switzerland: Springer; 2022: [315-226]. doi:10.1007/978-3-030-82786-1_14.
- 988 Lifeline. (n.d.). Warning Signs.
- London R, Ingram D. Social isolation in middle school. Sch Community J. 2018;28(1):107-127.
- Garcia J, Vargas N, Clark JL, Magaña Álvarez M, Nelons DA, Parker RG. Social isolation and connectedness as determinants of well-being: Global evidence mapping focused on LGBTQ youth. Glob Public Health. 2020;15(4):497-519. doi:10.1080/17441692.2019.1682028
- Wang SK, Feng M, Fang Y, et al. Psychological trauma, posttraumatic stress disorder and trauma-related depression: A mini-review. World J Psychiatry. 2023;13(6):331-339. Published 2023 Jun 19. doi:10.5498/wjp.v13.i6.331
- Farina EA, Assaf M, Corbera S, Chen CM. Factors Related to Passive Social Withdrawal and Active Social Avoidance in Schizophrenia. J Nerv Ment Dis. 2022;210(7):490-496. doi:10.1097/NMD.0000000000001502
- NIH MedlinePlus Magazine. (2023). Teens are talking about mental health.
